Life is too short to be bored and unfulfilled - John C. Maxwell
The phenomenal leadership expert, John Maxwell captured the essence of life in the quote above.
How true! You need to realise how short the time we have to spend on earth. I remember when I got into Lagos State University in 2011, it felt like four (4) years would never come.
It wasn't until when I was writing my last paper that it dawned on me. It was all over. Four years had gone by and it didn't feel like it. However, I was glad I made the best use of my time, resources and relationships.
It's chaotic to live to pass time. 20 years gone, then 40, 50,...70. Before you know it. Bam! It's all over.
Life is so short and you have got to be living it awesome. I can't stand the thought of people who wake up each day without a single excitement about their life. They are so bored down to the soul. Trust me, there are amazing things you can do in this life.
I am not being judgemental. I am bothered about people not really living a fulfilling life. The truth is that you know when something is missing but the problem is you might not know how to flip the switch. That's why I wrote this post. Hang in there! I have few recommendations that will help.
5 Tips to End Boredom and Unfulfillment
#1. Discover What You Were Made For
There is a whole new meaning to life that comes with discovering who you are. It's like being newly born. In actual fact, that's when life really begins; when you find your identity.
Can you answer this question with a full sense of satisfaction?
Who are you?
This goes beyond your name, family background, or qualifications. It might seem like a cliché but it's a timeless principle to effective living.
"Identity is Destiny."- Stephen R. Covey
You never know how much treasure you carry until you discover yourself. Self discovery is indispensable to a fulfilled life. Nothing really makes sense until you know what you a wired for. Any sense of emptiness or boredom you feel towards life should really point to the fact that there's a missing piece. Seek to find it.
I can tell how deep and personal the pain of unfulfillment can be. As deep as it can be, that's how sudden there can be a switch when you hit a revelation of yourself.
In Stephen R. Covey's book, "The 8th Habit", he called it "Finding your voice." That is a unique personal significance.
Stephen said:
"Voice is unique personal significance-significance that is revealed as we face our greatest challenges and which makes us equal to them... Voice lies at the nexus of talent (your natural gift and strengths), passion (those things that naturally energize, excite, motivate and inspire you), need (including what the world needs enough to pay you for) and conscience (that still, small voice within that assures you of what is right and that prompts you to actually do it)."
By observation, I have noticed that people attempt to pick one or two out of this four part (talent, passion, need and conscience) and think it will suffice for all. Finding your identity will require you to understand the totality of the human being.
#2. Discover What You Are Made Of
Everyone has this deep and nearly inexpressible longing from within to find our voice in life. Again, I would share from Stephen R. Covey's work. In my research to answer this question of boredom and unfulfillment, I found his book to be most helpful. You can get a copy of "The 8th Habit" on Amazon.
Stephen used what he called "The Whole Person Paradigm"; where the human nature is described to be four dimensional- The body, mind, heart and spirit.
Although, some also say it's three dimensional (Spirit, soul and body). It's all the same ideology. The soul is made up of the mind and emotions (heart).
So Stephen explained in his book that for any human to feel complete, these four dimensions must be harnessed all together.
Your spirit (seat of conscience) longs to leave a legacy (meaning and contribution).
Your body longs for survival.
Your heart (seat of emotions) seeks to love (relationship).
Your mind (seat of reason) seeks to learn (growth and development).
There is great fulfilment in developing the four dimensions. These four parts of every human have their capacities or intelligence; that you can possess.
The body has a physical intelligence. Imagine how organized your body functions.
The heart (emotional intelligence) is responsible for your self knowledge, self awareness, etc.
The mind (metal intelligence) is responsible for the ability to analyze, reason, visualise and comprehend.
The spirit (spiritual Intelligence) is the central and most fundamental of all the intelligences because it is the source of guidance of the other three.
From scripture:
''The spirit of man is the. Candle of the Lord"- Proverbs 20:27
I won't delve more into this book. But what I hope you realise is that there is no quick fix to fulfillment and satisfaction in life. You have to understand what you are made of and seek how to develop them. I believe there is a support system God had fabricated for every human to live by.
To wrap up on this, let me share with you what Stephen says will help develop these four intelligences.
- For the body- assume you've had a heart attack; now live accordingly.
- For the mind- assume the half-life of your process is two years; now live accordingly.
- For the heart- assume everything you say about another, they can overhear; speak accordingly.
- For the Spirit- assume you have a one-on-one visit with your creator (God) every quarter; now live accordingly.
I have been living by this and it really works.
#3. Pursue Your Passion
So in your pursuit of discovering "what you are made of", your passion would have surfaced.
I do not think that "your passion" is suppose to just get you excited. It is one of the pointers to "what you have been made for."
John Maxwell in his article on how to carve out your life passion suggested some questions to help you reflect on your passion. This is my favourite of all the questions:
"If you have inherited ao much money that you would never have to work again, what would you do with your time?"
When you realise that your passion can change you life and the lives of those around you, no one will ever drag you outa of bed. This should make you excited about life.
Apply your passion to solve problems. Seek to create a solution.
Personally, I am excited each day about who I am. I have something to live for. I am always overwhelmed with the joy of having to help someone find direction in life. If I had all the money in the world, I would still be found doing it.
#4. Stop Comparing Yourself With Others
No one can build a personal destiny upon the faith or experience of another person.- John Mason
I have had discussions with a couple of persons on this same issue of being bored about life. I observed that they had developed a low self esteem from always comparing themselves with other people.
Many people have suffered depression from validating their worth based on the achievements of others. You disempower yourself each time you make a choice based on the opinions of other people.
Never look down on yourself. You are unique and special the way you are. If you are experiencing challenges, I need you to know you have what it takes to breakforth.
#5. Watch Your Circle of Friends
One of Jim Rohn's popular quote says you become a product of the top five people you spend your time with. Friendship is not just an avenue to interact. It's a support system.
There's a huge chance that the reason you are bored to the soul is that your friends are also boring. I am not taking about going to parties and all that. After all your daily activities, do you go to bed with a deep sense of satisfaction?
I do not remember ever saying I am bored about life. Yes, I have engaged in boring activities like monopoly. I don't really like it. That's not the kind of boredom I am referring to.
I am speaking of inner boredom. No matter what you try, it doesn't seem to sink deep.
Watch out for friends who always speak about the negative side of life. They will always chat about bad economy, lack, failure, people trying to get at them, etc.
If you always hang around these kind of people, you will automatically produce the same pattern of thoughts.
Conclusion
My core message is this. If you want a fulfilled life, give attention to the four dimension of your being.
Over To You
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