Independent will is the ability to choose your response to any circumstance, free from external influences.
The major problem is that a lot of people allow circumstances to drive them about. Little things come their way and they just follow the flow without thinking through.
I want to share 3 symptoms you might experience daily that will help you indicate if your independent will is active. It will you know if you really take charge of your life or you get tossed around.
Let's begin...
#1. The Volcanic Symptom
Whenever you get angry at every slightest opportunity, you are showing the volcanic symptom. Whenever pressure sets in, you always erupt all your emotions in full force.
As a leader or your "YOUniverse", you need to be in control of your emotions. Your conscience should be the dominant voice. Developing your emotional intelligence is one of the biggest investment you can make on yourself.
" Keep your temper; nobody wants it."- John Mason
If you want to have an effective and healthy relationship, you have to take deliberate effort to deal with your anger issues.
Never say "they keep getting on my nerves." You are the only one capable of allowing people get to you. You have control. You are the product of your choice.
Don't be too selfish by thinking of yourself all alone. You are always saying:
"I don't like the way he talks to me."
"I don't like the way she looks at me."
"I don't like the way he closes the door."
"I don't like the way she approaches me."
It's about you all the time.
Your anger trigger is to notify you about hurts and offences but not to be used to terrorize everyone. If everyone on earth have chronic anger issues, we should be on extinction by now.
When people notice the weakness, they can seek to get you angry deliberately. They control you. Personally, I believe 90% of the things we get angry over could have been avoided.
The issue might have been that:
- There was a communication barrier.
- You don't understand the other party personality.
- You weren't really listening.
- Different paradigms/perceptions.
- You were dominating your view.
- You never sought to understand first.
#2. The Sunburn Symptom
You know how some people's skin are quite sensitive to the sun and often get burns? Yes. You might also be living a reactionary life. Every situation tends to burn you out.
Reactive people always base their emotions on what people do to them. If people treat you well, you feel well. If people don't treat you as you expect, you don't feel well.
You have built your emotions around the behaviours of other people. You have empowered other people to have control.
It shows that you are driven by circumstances, conditions, people and environment.
Reactive people just follow status quo. You do not always believe that you can do something to a situation. Most of your actions are born out of the fact that you have no choice.
Again, you are made to have control over your choices. You can take initiatives by yourself. You can choose to be proactive rather than reactive.
When you are proactive, you take total responsibility for yourself. You can choose to be driven by your own value system. You can think things through even though there are conditions around you that may not be favourable. You can choose your own response.
#3. The Crowd Symptom
Henry is a banker with a very fine personality but has one major problem. When it comes to taking decisions, he always feel uneasy.
He is forced to always go with his friends advice.
He really doesn't like to go with them but it appears he just can't decide to do what he wants except his friends agree to it.
There are so many Henry's who live on other people's opinions. There may be series of past experiences that have caused this emotional barrier. It might have been growing up with parents/guardians who are dictators.
This is typically what I call "trade of personal power." This is when your actions are always a product of someone else's thoughts.
You don't have to go with crowd. You can find your own voice and make your own decisions per time.
Conclusion
My core message for this post is that you should deliberately use your independent will. Take charge of your circumstances by responding appropriately.
Over To You
Are there any other aspects I didn't mention? Reply with a comment below.
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