Monday 6 May 2013

My single story: Anti choleric (1)

The single story project is still going on. The project is meant to create awareness about "single stories, prejudice and segregation."  The truth remains that everyone is involved.
If you don't know what this project is about, For more information please read Introduction to my single story project (MSSP).

Right in our mothers womb before we our birth, a certain story was told. From birth till death, another story ensued. From one’s point of death another story begins. Stories never end.
My single story project

My Childhood

I grew up experiencing loneliness. I could hardly relate with people around me. I had inferiority complex. My self esteem was on zero level. I couldn’t express myself in words in front of an audience without stuttering. I was a complete jerk.
I would say these traits were as a result of my parents influence on me (which i wrongly interpreted). My dad is a disciplinarian, a “no nonsense” man. My mum on the other hand is always on the “caring mother” mode but you a have yourself to blame if turns in to her “hulk” mode.

My parents are always on the issue of perfection (I'm the first child). They kept me away from friends. The only time i get to talk to people would be in school. They monitored the TV programs i watched (which is good). Send me to bed early. They were very strict to me as a child and i would always think they were wicked.

My dad and I

I had a problem with my dad. He is a strong choleric (extrovert). I used to think his methods towards discipline was really harsh. Sometimes i would wonder if he  was my father (very silly). Unlike my mum who is a phlegmatic (introvert).  She is calm.

I was weak, always depressed. I was of thinking (of nothing). I thought he was too pressuring and selfish.
I saw him as an immature choleric. His weaknesses were so evident. The Choleric is a very strong person but he had fully  utilised that strength yet.

He had best intentions, but i keep wondering if my inferiority complex was because of my dad’s influence or because i misunderstood him. Is my introvert nature inborn or it was environmental conditioned?

“The greatest harm comes from the best intentions” 

Myself vs. Choleric

As a result of my being kept indoors, I kept to myself a lot, hated noise,  liked calm environments. I barely talk. I could stay in a room with you for hours without saying a word. I had become a strong introvert.

Though i still get attracted to some people so i formed the habit of frowning to scare people away. It worked, but not for everyone.
My little experience with my dad made me dislike the choleric. I will always tell myself that any choleric is proud, selfish, arrogant and egocentric.

I never wanted to do anything with them (i was deceiving myself). I pretend to be comfortable around them, put up fake smiles but deep down within me i couldn’t but to express my disgust for them.

I was bleeding inside. i blamed all choleric for everything that happened to me. Though i worked on my self afterwards. Built a good self esteem, no more inferiority complex. I worked on my weaknesses.

I had a single story about the choleric.

“The worst single story is the one you tell yourself”

.............  to be continued

If you have a single story, don't hesitate to send me a mail. Ologunduduabraham at gmail dot com. It's only your story that can make this project continue.

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Geepawps said...

Quite an interesting story today. I am sure there are lots of people with the same experience. Well written and nice to read.

Abraham Ologundudu said...

Thanks for honoring my tweet to drop by. I'm glad.

Anonymous said...

Ologundudu, de ja vu :)

Abraham Ologundudu said...

Deja vu indeed